just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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