i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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