I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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