I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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