Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
