A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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