Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
