Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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