ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Barsexuality is the new black.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
