Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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