Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize