She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
