We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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