I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
