Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
