I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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