And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
