I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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