me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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