apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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