Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
