Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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