I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
