worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
