it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
