I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
