Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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