oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
