I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
