im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
