I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
