dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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