If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
