when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
