I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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