Do you still have your period?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I cockslap morals
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
