Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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