dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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