When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
