I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
