For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
