How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
