White coat. Heels.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
