i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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