Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
