Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
