my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
