stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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