I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.