So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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