Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am