You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
These Teachers Need To Be Fired
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.