i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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