we have officially lost it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
