and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
