Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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